Saturday, August 31, 2013

To space and beyond!

OMGosh! Have you heard of this?

Mankind must abandon earth or face extinction!

LONDON—Mankind's only chance of long-term survival lies in colonizing space, as humans drain Earth of resources and face a terrifying array of new threats, warned British scientist Stephen Hawking on Monday…

"Our population and our use of the finite resources of planet Earth are growing exponentially, along with our technical ability to change the environment for good or ill."…

If we want to survive beyond the next century, "our future is in space," added the scientist.

"That is why I'm in favor of manned, or should I say 'personed', space flight."…
Shiver me timbers! The stuff of Michael Crichton sci-fi novels now approaches reality. Only this time, the doomsday scenario is predicted by a real McCoy – renowned British scientist Stephen Hawking who predicts the dire future even while not forgetting to be politically correct: "personed" space flight?. At least we’re sure it won’t be a monkey piloting the spacecraft of the future, but who knows? At the rate the secular world has been redefining the biological and fundamental norms of society, we really can’t be sure what a "person" would mean in the future, can we.

At any rate, we are given one century to conquer space because we are steadily burning out ourselves and the earth! The "terrifying array of threats" will slowly but surely snuff life as we know it on earth. In the next few decades, the population will continue to grow but will peak out by the year 2100. This development will finally make the doomsday Malthusians happy (yes, they’re still around) , but not for long. Many big companies like Toys-R-Us would be wiped out of the economy. So will an entire gamut of industries catering to kids like infant formula, disposable diapers, MacDonalds Kiddie meals, and the like. No wonder because at this time, there are almost no kids around, and the average worldwide age would be at about 55 years of age. Meanwhile, the worldwide shortage of goods makes its dire presence felt, starting with the scarcity of commodities like adult diapers, rheumatism medication, hearing aids, and false teeth adhesives. From its peak in 2100, the world population now goes on a rapid plunge, owing further to science’s utter failure to discover how to make same-sex unions (hugely popular at this time) produce natural offspring. Like Hawkins predicted, mankind (or is it personkind?) will at this time find the frustrating limits of its technical ability to change the environment (along with its failure to change the nature of humans, of course). Meanwhile, Singapore is still at it. The country is now offering 10 billion dollars to each couple for every child they bring into the world. It is probably a tad late anyway, because Singapore at this time will have a country population of exactly 1,003 people – 90% of whom are senior citizens.

But wait! At this time, a heretofore small and insignificant country in the Far East, the Philippines, has emerged as the new world superpower! While the rest of the world has been grappling with its myriad problems, the Philippines has quickly made giant strides in super-technology, while maintaining its population at a healthy, replacement rate. Its emergence as a world power can be traced to its bucking the trend of an ultra-liberal, disastrous "postmodernism" with the heroic efforts of an innovative, value-oriented, and incorruptible populace starting in the year 2016. Unlike the rest of the world, this country has shunned contraceptive mentality and concentrated in tapping the productivity of its best resource – its people. Also in large part due to the migration of Filipinos around the world, key leadership positions were cornered by the best and brightest Filipinos in their various countries of residencies. The best scientists of the world, now young Filipinos, were able to solve the fuel and food problems of the whole world! Thanks to the ingenuity of these scientists, one grain of palay can now grow into 100 sacks of rice. A single super-solar cell can now light the whole of Metro Manila. Global warming has finally been conquered. It is now the year 2110, and there is no more need to conquer outer space!!! Stephen Hawking was right about the problems of the world, but he grossly underestimated the resilience and ingenuity of these hardy people from a small country in the Far East.

Meanwhile in local politics, Congressman Edcel Lagman XXVI, Jr., has refiled the controversial RH-bill on the very first day of the opening of the 214th session of Congress, in the year 2110. Reminded that this is the RH bill's 204th try for approval, Lagman XXVI, Jr, replied: "We'll have it passed into law this time around. We have the numbers. If not, we will have it passed on the moon".

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Dante's inferno in the year 2102

As Dante arrived home he felt very tired, and hungry as his dog Scruffy welcomes him home with playful yelps.  He had been toiling fourteen hours on two jobs day after day and it was as exhausting as it can get, as far as he can remember.  It was already way past 11pm and he decides to reheat a quick dinner from the fridge. As he opened the fridge he found out that there was only one frozen dinner left.  He sighed and took only half of it, knowing that his beloved partner would arrive a bit later and would be hungry for food too.  He strokes his dog Scruffy and throws him a morsel from his dinner.

Things are getting tighter and tighter for Dante,  as it has always been as far as he can remember. Taxes are getting higher each time, even as wages are going down assuming one gets lucky enough to find a job. He and his partner did not have children, yet they had to support  four elderly people in the house: his own parents and that of his partner.  He resents the fact they had no choice but to support their elderly parents but he knew there was no other way. He, like his partner was sole offspring, and besides the state required them to support their parents under the force of the law. The state had long ago given up on public institutions for the elderly, doling out only paltry monthly pensions for them that was hardly enough even for their food alone. Anyway, he knew that their household arrangement was typical. It is after all in the year 2102, just into the twenty-secondth century and indeed much has changed over the past hundred years.

Over the last half-century, major companies and even cities have declared bankruptcy. He remembered his grandfather say they used to live prosperously in Detroit many years ago, and they left due to the city declaring bankruptcy after a long hemorrhage. Then one city came after another, and after another. The government had no more resources to bail them all out, being in dire financial straits itself. Many businesses have shrunk along with the population, and recent reports declared that the median age for his aging country was 46 yearsof age, a stark reality that was the result of  disastrous population policy along with government's heavy push for contraceptives and abortion over the last hundred years or so. He suddenly remembered it was so long since he had seen couples pushing baby carriages  around the malls. Nowadays his typical sight was of elderly people moving around in canes or motorized wheelchairs, and it was the younger breed who were assisting them around.

As he took the last  bite of his dinner, Dante wondered what the world looked like a hundred years ago. Were there many happy families strolling around in the parks and malls with their children? Did people manage on single jobs alone? Was it easier to find a decent job for a double-Masters degree holder like him? As he pondered these thoughts his domestic partner, Marko arrives. He had a dejected look on his face. What happened? asks Dante as he plants a kiss on Marko's lips.  Got laid off again, replies Marko curtly, and goes straight to rest in the bedroom which he shares with everyone. Marko looks even more tired than he was, he did not even eat the half-dinner I left over for him, rues Dante.

This situation is getting unbearable, Dante decides. Now I have to support five people. Marko is certainly getting to be a tough burden around, and he decides it was time to divorce him. That would rid him of three people off his back. It would be his sixth divorce in as many years, but he would take a half-day off tomorrow to get the paperwork done over with.  As he pats his playful dog Scruffy, it dawns on him that it might be a better arrangement for him to marry his dog, and a lot less expensive too. It would even be more practical and makes a lot more sense than marrying a bridge, for example. After all, he loves the dog - that is all that matters for the government to legally recognize the marriage - while the paperwork it will require will not be much of a problem. Sigh, too many problems he concludes…and then falls asleep on the couch beside his dog, away from the heavy snores of the five people in the shared bedroom.

Sunday, May 5, 2013

Sunday, April 14, 2013